GrS 35:3:30 Death Star investigation

I've completed my examination of the Death Star records, and managed to piece together some kind of understanding.

First, they capture this "empty" freighter. Then, next thing you know, unauthorized prisoner transfers from cell block 1138 are taking place, then a weapons malfunction in Detention Block AA-23, followed by a large reactor leak. Annoyingly, the officer reporting all this never gave his operating number, so I can't cross-check anything. Anyway, before you know it, prisoners in Detention Block AA-23 are being sprung, garbage compactors are being breached, and there's a pitched firefight in the detention block that finally ends when two groups of stormtroopers realize they've been firing at each other along the hallway.

But here's the thing that's got me all jumpy. All the garbage compactors on the entire Death Star were shut down at one point via astromech droid, using the encrypted protocol we set up. But the ID signature of the droid that issued the command? R2-D2!

He was there! He was on board! And I missed him. If I'd been there, I would have noticed him accessing the controls and I could have found him!

Of course, I could also have been killed when the Death Star was destroyed.

Actually, at first, I was worried R2-D2 might have been destroyed too, but it looks like he escaped on the freighter before the station was blown up.

One more thing--I'm lurking on some Rebel-biased forums, and the word on there is that this hero that blew up the station is some kid called Luke Skywalker. Apparently, he used to bulls-eye womp rats in his T-16 back on Tatooine, which, as some systems guy noted years ago, is exactly the kind of expertise required to jam a proton torpedo down the exhaust port.

But Skywalker? Is that Vader's kid?! I mean, he was Anakin Skywalker, his "good friend" Padmé was pregnant, and her last known destination was Polis Massa, a medical outpost.

I know I'm not the only one that saw that viral video of "Darth Vader" wiping out the Separatist leaders on Mustafar, but maybe I'm the only one that recognized that Darth Vader was Anakin Skywalker. Wow, this is explosive. Vader has a kid. Hardly seems the right kind of father figure though.

Wonder if I can use this knowledge to my advantage?

GrS 35:3:10 Death Star uprising!

There was a big prison outbreak here just last week. I'm not really sure why they've got the detention block populated when we're not even at full crew complement, but that's the Empire for you.

I heard the alarms, but I was in the bathroom at the time, and figured it was just another drill. But when I arrived back at my cubicle, what do I see but a Rebel prisoner messing about with things.

The Stormtroopers broke in and settled things down, but I'm a little concerned with what that prisoner was doing on my system.

I'm thinking that leaving my Polis Massa database shortcut on the system (from when I was tracking down R2-D2 in GrS 16:6:18 and hacked in) wasn't a great idea, and the shortcut to the partial Death Star plans was definitely a no-no.

An audit of the security logs on my system showed that the prisoner accessed both of those items. I sure hope nothing untoward happened there.

GrS 17:1:4 Death Star review, day four

The emperor's been reading the minutes and, according to a very disgruntled Vader, agreed with me about the astromech droid thing, so we spent the first part of the meeting talking about building an authentication protocol into the astromech droid control panels. I managed to get everyone to agree on the old Techno Union Encryption Protocol, so only astromech droids modified by us can use the panels.

It's the same protocol that I built into R2-D2 years ago. They don't know it, but the encryption key I selected for the Death Star is the same one I used with R2-D2. I chose it in memory of him.

After that, we moved on to atmospheric systems and environmental, during which I caused a bit of a stink, if you'll pardon the pun. I mean, I understand about the interior doors and bulkheads closing automatically in the event of explosive decompression. I even agreed that isolating parts of the station to preserve the atmosphere was a good idea, but no one seemed to understand my point that the circuits were so sensitive that blaster fire at the controls would set them off.

"Do we really want captured Rebels running around and locking all the doors by blasting the controls?" I asked.

"What rebel invaders?" Tarkin snorted.

"The ones who are looking for the tractor beam," I started to say, but then I got the look from Vader, so I shut up.

The last things reviewed were the reactor and thermal systems. I noticed that there was no protection for the thermal exhaust port as there normally is--a physical protective cover so torpedoes and bombs can't be dropped in--and asked about it. "It's okay," said one of the system guys, "it's fully ray-shielded."

"Ray-shielded?" I asked, incredulously. "That won't stop a proton torpedo from a determined pilot."

The system guy snorted. "Look at the size of it! You'd need a pilot who could bulls-eye a womp rat in a T-16 to even hit it. Besides, a ship small enough to get in there is too small to carry proton torpedoes."

"Okay," I said, shrugging. "Anyway, I assume whoever designed this wasn't dumb enough to have it lead directly to the reactor."

"Why not?" Vader asked then, sounding annoyed.

"Are you serious?" I asked in surprise. "Any kid right out of school will tell you that an explosion in an exhaust port will trigger a chain reaction that causes the main reactor to go critical and explode. That's why they're always shielded against energy weapons and usually mechanically protected against proton torpedoes. No competent engineer would allow a design like this off his desk!"

The system guys all glanced at each other but didn't say a word, and Vader made some very annoyed breathing noises, and it suddenly occurred to me who the designer behind this scheme might be.

"On the other hand," I said, as I saw Vader's hand coming up in a classic force-choke maneuver, "the point's well taken that no ship small enough to get in there is likely to have proton torpedoes."

Vader's hand went back down, and we finished the rest of the review.

Before leaving, took a copy of the data tapes for the station. Just in case. Told Vader I wanted to study them on my own time. Not sure he believed me. I didn't realize, but even these tapes have got a standard astromech droid hookup port. Don't know why you'd want to transfer a load of data tapes into an astromech droid, but if you needed to, you could do it in a hurry with these. Sounds like a security risk to me.

Anyway, I transferred the data tapes into my system here, so I can look at them whenever I want. They're not actually the full set, only the bits we were reviewing, but I'm not really interested in the rest of them anyway.

I talked to Bevel Lemelisk a little after the meeting, and yeah, he said that he'd wanted to remove the port altogether, but Vader had disagreed with that decision, so it got left in.

GrS 16:6:14 Working closely with Vader!

We've been pretty busy lately. Turns out the Emperor has a LOT of secret projects for us to work on...

They mentioned we'd be "working closely" with those closest to the Emperor, and in today's meeting, who should get introduced but a sinister guy dressed all in black. "This is Darth Vader, the Emperor's right-hand man."

Sure, Darth Vader, the man in black. But I've seen the Mustafar viral video, and I know that before the armor went on, this guy was Anakin Skywalker, stealer of R2 units.

I'm not sure what happened between the wipe-out on Mustafar and now to give Vader the breathing problem and the black-suited armor, but I'm guessing a serious butt-kicking was issued. Nice.

I hope whoever it was got in some shots for R2-D2 along the way.

Everyone seemed scared of Vader (I've heard the force-choke stories too, of course), but I wasn't having any of it. I straight out asked him, "What happened to that R2 unit you used to hang around with, you know, the one you took from the people of Naboo?"

A silence fell in the room. The dry hum of the ventilation system was like the dry wind blowing over a lonely Tatooine plateau. Even Vader's asthmatic rasping seemed to have stopped.

"He exhibited... divided loyalties," Vader finally intoned. "Something to which you, I hope, are not going to fall victim."

"Oh no," I said, much more cheerfully than I felt. "I'm all Empire, all the way. I guess you knew he was serving on the Tantive IV now? Captain Antilles from Alderaan."

"Indeed?" asked Vader, sounding interested. "Thank you. I shall certainly be keeping a close eye on Captain Antilles and the Tantive IV from now on."

Oops, hope I haven't made life difficult for Antilles now. Oh well, I'm sure he'll keep his nose clean for the next few years, until Vader forgets about him, or loses interest.

Oh, and the clone troopers are being renamed. Apparently, people are paranoid about dealing with them after the whole sudden instant defection thing, and the plebes don't trust them. So they're going to be renamed "stormtroopers". Oh yeah, that sounds friendlier. Wonder if Vader had anything to do with that name? Anyway, they're going to redesign the uniform as well, so they don't look the same.

We talked for a long time about the style of the uniform. I tried to argue that, as long as we're changing the uniform, we should adopt some sort of armor that's resistant to laser fire, but Vader said that researching new materials would be too expensive, and we should just stick with the old material. I said, "What about the cost of human life?" and Vader replied that "troopers, like technicians, are cheap and easy to replace." I let it drop.

I also suggested that we incorporate clones from somewhere other than just Kamino, as a single clone template makes the trooper ranks vulnerable to disease, sabotage, corrupted cloning vats and so on. Vader said it would be too expensive and besides, Kamino made the best clones, and the Kaminoans were completely trustworthy.

GrS 16:6:8 R2-D2 visited Polis Massa!

Did some thinking about things. The Jedi that took charge of Padmé would have wanted to get her to medical care as soon as possible.

The closest place that would have been friendly to them was Polis Massa, so a little bit of hacking later, and I had all the information.

The only ship that left there was the Tantive IV, and sure enough, not long after that, Raymus Antilles, captain of the vessel, logged registrations papers for one R2-D2 droid with Industrial Automaton. He's listed on the papers as being a gift from Padmé Amidala, the last registered owner.

So the little guy is still out there. Now I've just got to get him back.

After all the work hacking into Polis Massa, I've left a nice little shortcut in my system, so if I want to get into the Polis Massa database again, it's just a couple of clicks.

GrS 16:6:6 More secrets from Mustafar

Some more digging around for Mustafar security footage has revealed some interesting details.

Although my little R2-D2 arrived at Mustafar with Anakin Skywalker, they did not leave together.

I've got footage showing Anakin (or Vader as we must call him now) force-choking Padmé... I've long suspected they had a thing going, and Padmé looked pregnant. I've seen human females in that condition before. But what kind of person tries to destroy his companion and his unborn child? That's cruel, even for a human. Wish there was sound on these videos though, as it looked like some heated words were being exchanged.

Anyway, after that R2-D2 left on Padmé's ship, presumably dismayed at the whole force-choking of his former mistress thing. He always had a good moral sense.

Oh, and that Tatooine protocol droid was there too, being all chummy with R2-D2. Hmmm.

I'll tell you, Padmé didn't look at all well when she was carried into that ship.

I wish I could figure out where that ship was going. Then maybe I could find R2-D2.

GrS 16:5:30 Mystery man Darth Vader

There's some viral security camera footage making the rounds. It's pretty popular around the office, as it shows Darth Vader, Palpatine's right-hand man, wiping out the Separatist leaders on Mustafar. Somewhat gratifying to watch your boss get sliced in two.

But here's the kicker. I assumed this person had been killed when all the Jedi got systematically wiped out by Palpatine (Palpatine said they were all traitors), but who do I see on the video kicking butt and taking names? My old friend Anakin Freakin' Skywalker. Oh, sure he's older, he's changed his name and he's got a real evil look in his eyes, but that's still the guy that received my stolen R2 unit from Padmé.

GrS 13:8:12 R2-D2 chilling with the Jedi

R2-D2 has been spotted on Coruscant in the company of Anakin Skywalker! A gift from Padmé to Anakin (and what's going on there, I wonder?).

And now Anakin's a Jedi Knight, working closely with the Jedi Council. So much for getting R2-D2 back--good luck trying to prise something out of the Jedi Council. They're cheaper than a nerf herder on his first visit to Coruscant.

GrS 13:8:10 Padmé ditches R2-D2

So Padmé is still a senator, but I've been hearing from friends on Coruscant that R2-D2 doesn't follow her around anymore. Not sure where the little guy is at the moment, but I'll try to find out. I don't like the uncertainty.

GrS 13:5:18 Naboo in the news again...

Just saw on the news that two attempts have been made to assassinate that senator from Naboo, Padmé Amidala. That's the one who's been swanning around with my R2 unit for years.

GNN had some video showing the attempt that took place on the landing platform. Looked like a pretty professional hit. Amidala survived, but I was seriously worried about R2-D2, as I didn't see him anywhere.

But they also had video from the second attempt, presumably for the titillation of male humans (it took place in Senator Amidala's bedchamber) and they specifically mentioned the "brave and loyal R2 unit" that had been on guard, and then, BAM. A full-frame shot of my beloved and missed R2-D2.

Wow. I wasn't expecting to see the little guy just then. I'm glad he's survived the danger, but it really tugged at my heart strings. Oh R2-D2, if only you could remember me and all the loving attention I devoted to you and your aftermarket addons.

Oh, and the main point of the news mentioning the R2 unit was so that they could complain how he failed to detect or prevent the attempt. Gee, I'm so sorry that I neglected to add a poisonous kouhun detector when I did R2-D2's mods. How could I not have foreseen that?

And who defeated the kouhuns and saved Senator Amidala? That erstwhile stealer of astromech droid emotions and onetime podracer pilot, Anakin Skywalker.

GrS 11:6:1 The Confederacy of Independent Systems

Just had a meeting with Wat Tambor. We are now officially part of the Confederacy of Independent Systems and officially against the Republic. Oh, and that massive droid army? Apparently, that's ours, though no one in the Republic knows about it yet.

Chancellor Palpatine has been granted emergency powers and is staying in office until this crisis is averted.

I'm an apolitical sort of person, but can't help wondering if all the confusion likely to come will make it possible for me to snatch my beloved R2-D2 back at some point.

GrS 10:3:8 Senator Amidala?

Saw in a news summary that former Queen Amidala has now been appointed Naboo's senator.

They showed a quick video of her approaching the Senate and there was my little R2-D2 tagging along.

I love seeing the little guy but it sure tugs at my heartstrings every time. I can only imagine what might have been if he'd stayed with me.

GrS 3:5:15 R2-D2 and the Queen of Naboo

Finally got in touch with someone on Naboo about R2-D2. Turns out that yeah, in return for "distinguished service to the Crown", R2-D2 is now the personal astromech droid of Queen Amidala.

I'm thrilled for R2-D2. I always knew he was an awesome little droid, even before all his mods, but I'm still steamed. He was my friend first, and I'm sure some of the mods I did helped him perform these distinguished services.

I explained everything to the Naboo person, who was actually very sympathetic and nice, but she said that there was no way she could take away an R2 unit that was a) bought and paid for by the people of Naboo and b) a personal favourite of the Queen's.

She seemed to believe my story, as she actually offered to buy me a new R2 unit with all the factory mods possible, but it just wouldn't be the same. I know it wouldn't.

I guess I'll just have to let R2-D2 go. At least he won't be hanging around with that protocol droid from Tatooine anymore.

You can bet I'll be following his career with great interest though. If Queen Amidala and this Anakin joker stay in the spotlight in the future as much as they have been for the past month or so, I'm sure I'll see R2-D2 from time to time.

I somehow have a feeling they will stay in the news. Weird how galactic events seem to be centering around a handful of people, though.

GrS 3:4:21 Naboo week

Haven't written in a long time, but had to share this. What a weird week. I've been glued to GNN for most of it.

First, some kid, a human kid no less, wins the Boonta Eve Classic on Tatooine. That was strange enough, but then I find out that I know this kid---Anakin Skywalker, the slave of that Toydarian, Watto, who I met at the Outer Rim Swap Meet last year. I saw last year that the kid had a gift for mechanics, but apparently he's a star podracer too. Whoever heard of a human podracing? Actually, I thought this kid might be a good fit for the Techno Union, so I gave Watto a call yesterday--ostensibly to discuss all the big news from this week. I worked the conversation around to Anakin, and boy, was Watto steamed. As a result of a bad bet, he's sold the kid to some "weird off-planet guy in robes." Man, that's not like Watto at all. If he wasn't a Toydarian, I'd suspect he'd been the victim of a Jedi mind-trick.

Then, the Queen of Naboo appears in the Senate, and claims that the Trade Federation has invaded Naboo, for reasons that have not been made clear, though some arm-waving was given to the "taxing of trade routes" reason. Next thing you know, she's calling for a no-confidence vote in the Chancellor so that Senator Palpatine from Naboo can become Chancellor. Gee, no high-level collusion going on there. What is this, Naboo week?

Oh, and that wasn't all that happened this week. The Trade Federation deployed a massive droid army against a bunch of Gungans and lost. Wow, I was being sarcastic about that a few years ago, and now it happened.

Actually, credit shouldn't go the Gungans. They should really reward a medal to the inept engineers at Baktoid Combat Automata, because the turning point in the battle was, big surprise, when the Droid Control Ship was destroyed and all the battle droids deactivated. I warned them this would happen! Idiots.

Oh, and get this, the destruction of the Droid Control Ship was, apparently, the work of Anakin Skywalker, the same kid who'd won the Boonta Eve race a couple of days earlier! What the hell is going on out there in the galaxy? How does this kid manage to get involved in two of the big news stories, a couple of days apart, one taking place in the Outer Rim, and the other above a Mid Rim world?

Oh, and here's the really weird thing. I saw some fan-shot footage from the Boonta Eve race, and guess who was watching the race from Anakin's family box? Queen Amidala of Naboo! And according to Watto, she'd only met him the day before. What... the... hell. Here's me, plugging away in my ordinary life every day, while a handful of people are influencing the major weekly events in the galaxy.

And who else did I see celebrating with Anakin afterwards but my very own little R2-D2! I'd know that little blue dome anywhere. I could even see the slightly bulging top panel where I'd installed the periscope. It's not enough that Anakin Skywalker gets to win the Boonta Eve Classic and save the planet of Naboo, but now he's swanning around with my astromech droid?

To make matters worse, R2-D2 seems to have made friends with one of those prissy protocol droids. Let's hope he didn't tag along when R2-D2 left Tatooine.

I'm doing all I can to find out where he's got to now. He was last spotted helping that Anakin kid pilot that Naboo Royal N-1 starfighter into the Droid Control Ship. I've tried calling the planet, but things are a little hectic in Naboo right now, and I'm having trouble getting in touch with anyone.

GrS 2:2:23 R2-D2 tracked down

Succeeded in breaking into the Industrial Automaton computers and tracking R2-D2. He was sold as a refurb to the Royal Engineers of Naboo. They probably wiped his memory too, or the little guy would be trying his darndest to get back to me.

The really sad thing is he was sold as a standard droid, so the guys on Naboo probably don't even know what an awesome little droid he is. Unless they pull him apart, they won't even know about all his modifications.

GrS 2:2:18 R2-D2 sold to someone else!

ARGH! R2-D2 has been sold to someone else!

When Industrial Automaton receive a "standard" R2-D2 unit back, they immediately ship out a replacement, and service the old one and sell it on as a refurb. Because I bought the standard R2 unit, they refuse to believe that I could have made all the modifications I claim in just one month, so they say there's nothing they can do for me.

I've received R2-E9 as a replacement, but after all the work I put into R2-D2, my heart's not in it anymore. I sent him back, unopened. I want my little guy back!

GrS 2:2:10 R2-D2 is gone!

Right after I'd finished a ton more mods, too numerous to list, there was a minor factory recall for the units we had, and somehow my personal R2-D2 got shipped back with all the corporate units! I've been on the communicator all day with Industrial Automaton trying to find the little guy.

GrS 2:1:25 Shield generators programmed in

I've programmed schematics and emergency repair guides for every known variety of shield generator into R2-D2. I figure it could really come in handy in a firefight.

Not that I ever intend to take the little guy into space--he's a collector's piece--but if I want to win the R2 Modding competition at this year's TechFest, every modification helps.

GrS 2:1:20 Full underwater mode on R2-D2

Full underwater mode is working now. I've got R2-D2 equipped with a propeller for moving around underwater. The periscope works just as planned.

I just love this little droid!

GrS 2:1:15 R2-D2's hidden compartment

Added a little hidden compartment on top of R2-D2's dome, with an ejector built into it. Don't know when it will come in handy, but it's a neat little mod.

While I had the dome open, I also fitted in an after-market periscope. It pops out the top of his head, and will be useful when I add the full "submarine-mode" mods.