Thursday, May 27, 2010

GrS 39:3:6.80 No meeting with the Emperor

Well, after being put off for several hours by the Emperor's personal secretary, I've come to the conclusion that I won't get to see the Emperor today.

According to the secretary, he's been busy himself, what with, as he put it, "an entire legion of His Imperial Majesty's best troops being shuttled down to Endor." I can only assume the Emperor knows something about this mysterious shuttle and its occupants, then. Unless of course the troops are being sent down there to bring Vader back? Hmmm.

EDIT +5 mins
Just got handed a note from the Emperor's secretary, written by the great man himself. It reads "Be at ease. Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. It was I who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from that pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them."

Wow, what a nice guy; I guess he wasn't really that upset about the shield codes, then.

EDIT +10mins
Vader is now back on board, with someone I can only presume is the infamous Luke, and the two of them just went in to meet with the Emperor. Vader wasn't escorted by a legion of Stormtroopers, so whatever he's up to, either the Emperor isn't aware, or has endorsed it.

EDIT +15mins
Just heard from the guy next to me that a pitched battle is taking place down on the moon between the Emperor's legion of best troops and a horde of sentient diminutive furry bipeds. As weird as that is, the weirder thing is that the Stormtroopers appear to be losing.


EDIT +20mins
Massive fireball down on the moon! I haven't seen it myself, due to the lack of windows in here, but lots of folks keep popping their head in the door and mentioning it. The shield generator has been destroyed. Unintended consequence of the battle or deliberate?

Just asked someone running by the door if they knew why the shield generator was destroyed. All they said was "Look out a window!" and charged off.

Huh. Think I'll head up to the canteen and have a look out the windows. I'll take my journal with me, as I'll probably stay and grab a bite. I hear they're doing penne all'Arrabbiata today.


EDIT +25mins
Canteen deserted. Just looked out the window.

Oh, fuuuuuuuuudge...

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

GrS 39:3:6.10 The crew aboard the Tydirium...

On a whim, I tried a remote login to the systems on board the Tydirium shuttle, and sure enough, it was sitting in sleep mode down on the surface of the moon.

Logged in using the standard protocols, and I was able to grab the cabin voice logs, and what do I hear but multiple instances of someone being addressed as "Luke".

Oh, this just gets better and better. Vader's kid was on board the shuttle, and Vader just happens to be there for the routine clearance? Give me a break. Something stinks here all right. Vader's definitely up to something. But what?

Just got word that Emperor Palpatine has arrived on base. I wonder if I should try to get in to see him to tell him about these strange goings-on with Vader.

EDIT +10mins
Oh, man, I repeat, this just gets better and better. Vader has taken a shuttle down to the surface. Visiting his son perhaps?

That's it; I'm requesting a meeting with the Emperor.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

GrS 39:3:5 Shield codes used?!

Weird. I just noticed in the security log that those old disabled shield codes were just used to deactivate the shield for a shuttle heading down to the surface of the forest moon. Uh-oh. I'd better check this out.

EDIT, +15 mins
The shuttle (Tydirium, by the way) was carrying "parts and technical crew", which seems a pretty generic manifest, if you ask me. But I asked around and Admiral Piett was present, along with Vader, and both were in agreement to clear the shuttle, so I guess everything's okay.

EDIT 2 +20 mins
Wait just a minute. What kind of routine shuttle clearance requires an admiral and Lord Vader in attendance? Something stinks here. What game is Vader playing? Who was on that shuttle?

Friday, May 21, 2010

GrS 39:3:1 Stuck on Death Star II

So the Emperor found out about the shield codes, and is pretty upset about it. He thinks I've compromised the Death Star's security.

I told him that I was sure those codes had been disabled, but this didn't really comfort the Emperor, and suddenly, my planet leave got canceled, and I'm listed as being on "special assignment" on board the Death Star for the foreseeable future.

Fortunately, I know that Jerjerrod will have been as good as his word, so those codes to take down the shield won't work anymore.

Death Star II is the safest thing flying. No thermal exhaust port, no stolen plans that I know of, and no rogue shield codes out there. I've got a good feeling about this.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

GrS 39:1:16 The Emperor's pilgrimage and missing shield codes

Some fallout from the Emperor's pilgrimage trip. He was attacked on Korriban and trapped in an underground tomb for a while! Then, while he was stuck in there, his shuttle got ransacked.

I heard there were some Bothans involved too, a bunch of academics who didn't even have travel clearance to be there, they only had documents for attending the Bothan Cryptographers meeting.

Hmmm. I don't think I'll tell the emperor that those shield codes were on board his shuttle. Well, they're disabled anyway, so there's no real security risk, but he just might blame me for his inconveniences.

And he has been known to have a bit of a temper--I saw what he did to the steward that one time he brought him his vine-coffee with Traladon milk instead of black.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

GrS 39:1:15 Bothan Cryptographers meeting

Back from my trip to this year's Bothan Cryptographers get-together.

Sheesh, what a mess!

I hitched a lift with the Emperor for most of the way--he was on his annual pilgrimage to Korriban--and he dropped me off at Bothawui on the way.

Well, I head off to do my talk. The room was jam-packed, standing-room only, and wouldn't you know it, I discovered I had left my data tape containing the codes (and my presentation!) aboard the Emperor's shuttle when it brought me down to the surface.

Boy, did I feel embarrassed, having to get up there and explain that I had no Imperial shield-disabling codes to show them. I said I could still do most of the technical talk, but it seems no one had any interest! Once I told them I had left the codes on board the shuttle, and that it was heading to Korriban, they hightailed it out of there! They fell over each other trying to get to the door. I figured there was a competing talk that they would prefer to hear, now that I had no codes to show them, but apparently, they all rushed for their ships and took off into space!

Maybe they're all secret Sith worshippers or something, because I heard they were all last seen heading for Korriban. Weird.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

GrS 39:1:6 Imperial shield-disabling codes

Sent the Bothan Cryptographers a copy of the abstract for my chat at this year's get-together. "A display and analysis of Imperial shield-disabling codes."

According to the organizers, the signups for my chat filled up faster than any other talk in history. I had no idea so many of my fellow Bothans were interested in the subject.

One of the signup ladies even said "Many Bothans were dying to get this information." Wow, popular.

Monday, May 17, 2010

GrS 39:1:5 Death Star II shield codes

So construction on the second Death Star is going pretty well here around the Forest Moon of Endor.

They've got some fancy shield protecting the Death Star during construction. It's projected from the surface of the moon, and there's a complicated set of codes to disable it if you need to land near the shield generator or on the Death Star itself.

Actually, they've just rolled the codes over to a new set. I managed to successfully make the point that old codes should be disabled, to prevent them verifying in the system. The last thing we want is to have older codes that still check out and allow the shield to be disabled. Tiaan Jerjerrod promised to take care of it "soon", pleading how busy he was. After some insistence on my part, I got him to promise that he'd take care of it today, and the old codes would stop working immediately after the meeting.

He even said I could take a copy of the old codes to my Bothan Cryptographers meeting next week, to show off examples of the fine level of Imperial cryptography.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

GrS 36:3:1 Vader's obsession

Maybe I should have kept that Luke Skywalker information to myself.

Some of my buddies in the Navy say that Vader is using his personal fleet of Star Destroyers to look for Luke and the Rebels, tying up all kinds of resources and ignoring a bunch of other conflicted areas to serve his obsession.

On the other hand, I suppose it keeps him out of trouble. Vader, that is. Well, and Luke and the Rebels too, now that I think about it.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

GrS 35:4: Advantage, Vader

Well, scratch off any advantage that knowledge might give me. I let the cat out of the bag, just for the sake of petty revenge.

Vader was being a bit of a jerk about something, so I just said, "By the way, did I tell you about that Rebel message board I've been reading? They're really praising the kid that fired the shot at the Death Star. His name's Luke Skywalker."

Vader gave a sharp intake of breath and turned to face me, his black lenses boring into me.

"Yeah, Luke Skywalker," I continued cheerfully. "I wonder if he's related to that old Jedi, Anakin Skywalker? Wasn't he the only human podracer ever? Didn't he win the Vinta Harvest Classic when he was 12?"

"Anakin Skywalker is dead," Vader intoned, and turned to swoop out of the room. "Besides, it was the Boonta Eve Classic, and he was 10."

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

GrS 35:3:30 Death Star investigation

I've completed my examination of the Death Star records, and managed to piece together some kind of understanding.

First, they capture this "empty" freighter. Then, next thing you know, unauthorized prisoner transfers from cell block 1138 are taking place, then a weapons malfunction in Detention Block AA-23, followed by a large reactor leak. Annoyingly, the officer reporting all this never gave his operating number, so I can't cross-check anything. Anyway, before you know it, prisoners in Detention Block AA-23 are being sprung, garbage compactors are being breached, and there's a pitched firefight in the detention block that finally ends when two groups of stormtroopers realize they've been firing at each other along the hallway.

But here's the thing that's got me all jumpy. All the garbage compactors on the entire Death Star were shut down at one point via astromech droid, using the encrypted protocol we set up. But the ID signature of the droid that issued the command? R2-D2!

He was there! He was on board! And I missed him. If I'd been there, I would have noticed him accessing the controls and I could have found him!

Of course, I could also have been killed when the Death Star was destroyed.

Actually, at first, I was worried R2-D2 might have been destroyed too, but it looks like he escaped on the freighter before the station was blown up.

One more thing--I'm lurking on some Rebel-biased forums, and the word on there is that this hero that blew up the station is some kid called Luke Skywalker. Apparently, he used to bulls-eye womp rats in his T-16 back on Tatooine, which, as some systems guy noted years ago, is exactly the kind of expertise required to jam a proton torpedo down the exhaust port.

But Skywalker? Is that Vader's kid?! I mean, he was Anakin Skywalker, his "good friend" Padmé was pregnant, and her last known destination was Polis Massa, a medical outpost.

I know I'm not the only one that saw that viral video of "Darth Vader" wiping out the Separatist leaders on Mustafar, but maybe I'm the only one that recognized that Darth Vader was Anakin Skywalker. Wow, this is explosive. Vader has a kid. Hardly seems the right kind of father figure though.

Wonder if I can use this knowledge to my advantage?

Monday, May 10, 2010

GrS 35:3:26 Death Star destroyed!

What a crazy month! Grand Moff Tarkin is dead, along with a whole pile of other people. The whole Death Star is gone, destroyed by a bunch of rebel kids--using that stupid X-wing fighter design that the Incom defectors took with them and, big surprise, proton torpedoes down the thermal exhaust port.

I was due to leave the conference today, but that's all on hold.

The good thing to come out of this is they never got around to examining my computer system before the Death Star was destroyed, so all the evidence of my indiscretion should be gone.

I'm wondering if perhaps I might be a little bit to blame for all the death and destruction, leaving those plans lying around like that, but hey, I told them that exhaust port was bad news.

The fleet did recover some data from the debris, and they've got me examining the events prior to the destruction to see if we can learn anything.

Darth Vader is pretty cheesed off about the whole thing. Word is, he spent quite a few days cooped up in his TIE fighter trying to locate a Star Destroyer to pick him up.

I had a conference call with him and naturally, he's already talking about building another one. Let's hope he doesn't insist on the same design for the thermal exhaust port.

He's already dodged the bullet on that one, as he pinned all the blame for that design on poor Bevel Lemelisk.

Friday, May 7, 2010

GrS 35:3:12 Getting the heck off the Death Star

Vader approved my request to head off to a conference for two weeks. I told him it was because my system was currently "assisting with the inquiries" on the uprising, so I couldn't do any work anyway.

So I'm off. I told the tech to keep me informed when they'd examined my system. I want to give everyone time to cool off before I head back there.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

GrS 35:3:11 Death Star uprising fallout

So Com-scan has detected that a transmission was made from Hangar 85-G to Polis Massa, and the transmission logs retain enough detail to show that it was the Death Star plans that were transmitted.

They know my system in Hangar 85-G was used, so they've confiscated it, but they haven't yet examined it, but the tech said they'd do that in the next week or so, and I should have it back shortly after that.

I think I'll arrange to head off to a conference for a little while, just to make sure I'm safely out of the picture when my system is examined. I don't want to be here when they find out the plans the Rebels sent were the ones on my system, and they connected to the Polis Massa database via my shortcut.

I'm also not really comfortable with the idea of the Rebels having a copy of those plans, not with that exhaust port problem.

Of course, Vader still doesn't believe it's an issue, but the Rebels have the plans and a small starfighter equipped with proton torpedoes.

Yeah, I think I'll take a break for a few weeks. Avoid any fallout from the Rebels and the Imperials.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

GrS 35:3:10 Death Star uprising!

There was a big prison outbreak here just last week. I'm not really sure why they've got the detention block populated when we're not even at full crew complement, but that's the Empire for you.

I heard the alarms, but I was in the bathroom at the time, and figured it was just another drill. But when I arrived back at my cubicle, what do I see but a Rebel prisoner messing about with things.

The Stormtroopers broke in and settled things down, but I'm a little concerned with what that prisoner was doing on my system.

I'm thinking that leaving my Polis Massa database shortcut on the system (from when I was tracking down R2-D2 in GrS 16:6:18 and hacked in) wasn't a great idea, and the shortcut to the partial Death Star plans was definitely a no-no.

An audit of the security logs on my system showed that the prisoner accessed both of those items. I sure hope nothing untoward happened there.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

GrS 34:10:6 Incom defects!

Those kriffing nerf herders at Incom!

The Emperor sent a legion of stormtroopers to help their transition to an Imperial-owned company, and they discovered the place trashed!

The senior executives have all defected to join the Rebels, taking all the plans and prototypes of the new X-wing with them. They destroyed a lot of the equipment too.

The stormtroopers rounded up all the engineers and scientists who were left, but it's pretty obvious that the people who know the most are gone.

Oh, and still no new office. Still stuck in a corner of Hangar 85-G.

GrS 34:10:5 Incom stonewalls the Emperor

Wow, just wow. So Vader and the Emperor got on a conference call with Incom, and tried to make one last effort to get the new X-wing plans and prototypes out of them by diplomacy, but Incom just flat out refused.

The next thing you know, the Emperor makes an announcement that Incom has "agreed" to be Imperialized and become part of the Empire, so it looks like I'm going to get those plans to review.

Awesome. Nice to have someone with some clout and the credits to back it agreeing with your own ideas. Maybe I can arrange to get a proper office, instead of this draughty corner of the hangar.

Monday, May 3, 2010

GrS 34:10:3 Incom's new T-65 "X-wing"

At the Emperor's insistence, Vader sent me to Fresia to tour the Incom facility. They're the guys that designed the ARC-170 years ago, and they had some new starship they were eager to demonstrate.

The T-65 "X-wing" is only in the prototype stage, but it looks like a pretty neat ship--what I saw of it, anyway. It's based largely on the Z-95, and uses a nice little GBk-585 hyperdrive unit, along with some KX9 laser cannons. Somehow, they even squeezed some proton torpedo launchers in there too--once I saw those, I was really glad that we're the ones evaluating this, and not the Rebels. Whenever I see a starfighter with proton torpedoes, I think of that thermal exhaust port on the Death Star, with its thin veneer of ray shielding, and shudder.

Oh, speaking of shields, the X-wing's got a shield generator as well, which makes it preferable to the TIE fighter (which I've heard the pilots call the "space coffin").

I told Incom we'd need all the plans, blueprints, and the four working prototypes before deciding if the Empire was going to make this the new starfighter of the Imperial fleet, and they all got pretty snippy about it and refused to hand anything over.

Stupid--I told Vader about it when I got back to the Death Star, and he agreed that we couldn't possibly make that big of a decision without all the data.

I told him about some of the things I'd seen there, how badly organized they were, all the money getting wasted, that kind of thing, and told him, half-jokingly, that the Empire should just buy the company and make it part of the Imperial family.

He went away actually mulling that one over.

Friday, April 30, 2010

GrS 33:3:25 Declaration of Rebellion

Looks like we're in for some interesting times again. A group of dissidents has authored something called the Declaration of Rebellion, accusing the Emperor of a number of crimes.

He's pretty annoyed about the whole thing and has declared his intention to "crush this insignificant rebellion and all those who support it." So much for the office pool theory that he'd extend an olive branch and commence unilateral talks with an eye to instituting reforms. Ha! Kidding. That was a choice, but no one put money on that one.

Oh, and I've been stationed on the DS-1 Orbital Battle Station or "Death Star" (sigh). Vader spends most of his time here too. I brought my computer system and everything with me, as I'm expected to continue churning out new designs for the Empire, but they wanted me to oversee the installation of some of the systems I helped review.

The whole station isn't quite finished yet, but it's close. It looks really good. Can't wait until they try out the superlaser!

I don't even have a proper office yet, but I've set up a sort of impromptu R&D area in Hangar 85-G.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

GrS 23:4:5 Attack of the (anti-) clones!

Haven't written in a long time, but had to jot this down. There was a huge uprising on Kamino--the Kaminoans were building their own "anti-clone troopers" to try to defeat the Empire. Boba Fett led a whole bunch of stormtroopers there and wiped out the new cloning facilities, but Palpatine is seriously upset.

I heard he called a meeting with Vader and wanted to know why Vader hadn't foreseen this vulnerability, and ordered him to open up stormtrooper ranks to clones from different facilities, and to recruit from the general populace.

Vader claimed he'd asked about this, and been told it wasn't a problem! Well, that got me pretty mad, so I fired Palpatine off a copy of the minutes of our meeting from 16:6:14, almost seven years ago, when I suggested this very possibility, and Vader shot it down, so Palpatine raked Vader over the coals during the weekly conference call in front of all the Moffs, saying "We will pay the price for your lack of vision!" Vader was so mad when he got out of there, he had to force-choke three captains, a TIE pilot, and a field marshall before he calmed down.

I probably shouldn't have sent those minutes, but I was mad. I sure hope Vader doesn't realize it was me. Man, I should talk to Tarkin, see if he still sells those force-choke protective collars on the side.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

GrS 17:2:8 Astromech droid review

Reviewed plans for the astromech droids to be used on the "Death Star". With every system (except the tractor beam) controllable by astromech droid, you just know we're going to need them.

Apparently, in spite of all the sudden-death turmoil going on there, we managed to agree last week to license the R2 design from Industrial Automaton on what Vader calls "very favourable terms." Hmmm.

So not much is changing. Vader doesn't want to bother buying the thruster jet mod, because he hasn't seen any R2 units use them in a few years; it's like R2 units equipped with them have forgotten the jets exist.

I asked about dropping in a speech module. It wouldn't cost much, a few decicreds at most, and the R2 units would be able to communicate properly. Nope, said Tarkin, no added expense. Besides, that's what protocol droids are for. I pointed out that needing a protocol droid every time you wanted to talk to an R2 unit would be more expensive than adding the speech module. Anyway, everyone knows protocol droids are annoying, prissy-as-hell silver and gold prigs.

Vader shot me down this time. "At least they're respectful," he rumbled. He added that some R2 units he'd encountered were pretty mouthy, and adding speech would only "exacerbate an already unpleasant conversational experience."

GrS 17:2:1 Industrial Automaton in difficulties

Wow, what is going on with Industrial Automaton? They're the astromech droid guys, and it seems five of their board members died suddenly this week. Man, and I thought things would be going well there--word is, we're going to use IA's R2 series of astromech droids for the new space station (yes, the "Death Star". Sigh). Nice fat contract for them.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

GrS 17:1:4 Death Star review, day four

The emperor's been reading the minutes and, according to a very disgruntled Vader, agreed with me about the astromech droid thing, so we spent the first part of the meeting talking about building an authentication protocol into the astromech droid control panels. I managed to get everyone to agree on the old Techno Union Encryption Protocol, so only astromech droids modified by us can use the panels.

It's the same protocol that I built into R2-D2 years ago. They don't know it, but the encryption key I selected for the Death Star is the same one I used with R2-D2. I chose it in memory of him.

After that, we moved on to atmospheric systems and environmental, during which I caused a bit of a stink, if you'll pardon the pun. I mean, I understand about the interior doors and bulkheads closing automatically in the event of explosive decompression. I even agreed that isolating parts of the station to preserve the atmosphere was a good idea, but no one seemed to understand my point that the circuits were so sensitive that blaster fire at the controls would set them off.

"Do we really want captured Rebels running around and locking all the doors by blasting the controls?" I asked.

"What rebel invaders?" Tarkin snorted.

"The ones who are looking for the tractor beam," I started to say, but then I got the look from Vader, so I shut up.

The last things reviewed were the reactor and thermal systems. I noticed that there was no protection for the thermal exhaust port as there normally is--a physical protective cover so torpedoes and bombs can't be dropped in--and asked about it. "It's okay," said one of the system guys, "it's fully ray-shielded."

"Ray-shielded?" I asked, incredulously. "That won't stop a proton torpedo from a determined pilot."

The system guy snorted. "Look at the size of it! You'd need a pilot who could bulls-eye a womp rat in a T-16 to even hit it. Besides, a ship small enough to get in there is too small to carry proton torpedoes."

"Okay," I said, shrugging. "Anyway, I assume whoever designed this wasn't dumb enough to have it lead directly to the reactor."

"Why not?" Vader asked then, sounding annoyed.

"Are you serious?" I asked in surprise. "Any kid right out of school will tell you that an explosion in an exhaust port will trigger a chain reaction that causes the main reactor to go critical and explode. That's why they're always shielded against energy weapons and usually mechanically protected against proton torpedoes. No competent engineer would allow a design like this off his desk!"

The system guys all glanced at each other but didn't say a word, and Vader made some very annoyed breathing noises, and it suddenly occurred to me who the designer behind this scheme might be.

"On the other hand," I said, as I saw Vader's hand coming up in a classic force-choke maneuver, "the point's well taken that no ship small enough to get in there is likely to have proton torpedoes."

Vader's hand went back down, and we finished the rest of the review.

Before leaving, took a copy of the data tapes for the station. Just in case. Told Vader I wanted to study them on my own time. Not sure he believed me. I didn't realize, but even these tapes have got a standard astromech droid hookup port. Don't know why you'd want to transfer a load of data tapes into an astromech droid, but if you needed to, you could do it in a hurry with these. Sounds like a security risk to me.

Anyway, I transferred the data tapes into my system here, so I can look at them whenever I want. They're not actually the full set, only the bits we were reviewing, but I'm not really interested in the rest of them anyway.

I talked to Bevel Lemelisk a little after the meeting, and yeah, he said that he'd wanted to remove the port altogether, but Vader had disagreed with that decision, so it got left in.

GrS 17:1:3 Death Star review, day three

Looked over some suggested plans for the tractor beam. Caused a bit of a fuss when I saw the recommended way for turning it off. Tarkin said he didn't want any captured Rebels sneaking around, shutting it off easily and then flying away. I asked him if he was going to be in the habit of capturing Rebels and then letting them wander the station at will. The meeting degenerated rapidly after that. Finally, Vader spoke up and endorsed the "power-switch-on-a-catwalk" plan, so I shut up.

Funny footnote: somehow, they remembered my astromech droid suggestion from yesterday, so hooray, the tractor beam is now the only system that can't be overridden by astromech droid. I can't wait for the day someone accidentally snares Vader's TIE fighter and then has to explain why he's got to go crawling along a narrow catwalk to shut it off.

GrS 17:1:2 Death Star review, day two

Second day of "Death Star" review (boy, do I hate that name). Some political correctness has reasserted itself and the station's official name will be the DS-1 Orbital Battle Station, though Vader went to great pains to make sure everyone understood that "DS" stood for Death Star.

Tried to argue today that putting an astromech droid control panel at all the computer terminals was a security risk. As usual, no one listened. So great, anyone who cares to invest in a bog-standard astromech droid can override just about any system on the base. Even some farmboy loser from Tatooine could visit his local Jawas, snag a stolen astromech droid and take over the Death Star. Brilliant.

GrS 17:1:1 Review of plans for new space station

Today, it was a pretty boring review of plans for the new space station. The station looks interesting, but man, did we get bogged down on the little details.

Did some brainstorming of names with the group. Mobile Imperial Enforcement Globe. The Palpatine I. Expeditionary Battle Planetoid. Friendly Neighbourhood Imperial Dome. Vader suggested "Death Star." Gee, what a surprise from the guy who insisted the battle cruisers be called "Star Destroyers."

No one liked my final suggestion of "I can't believe it's not a moon!"

Oh, and apparently parts of this design came from Geonosian Industries years ago, but had been floating around the Techno Union and Separatists for years, so I can expect to see a lot of the same old dumb mistakes I've been seeing for years.

Construction's been taking place for a couple of years already, but that's really just the main superstructure. Lots of opportunity to change the internal systems at this point.

Monday, April 26, 2010

GrS 16:6:14 Working closely with Vader!

We've been pretty busy lately. Turns out the Emperor has a LOT of secret projects for us to work on...

They mentioned we'd be "working closely" with those closest to the Emperor, and in today's meeting, who should get introduced but a sinister guy dressed all in black. "This is Darth Vader, the Emperor's right-hand man."

Sure, Darth Vader, the man in black. But I've seen the Mustafar viral video, and I know that before the armor went on, this guy was Anakin Skywalker, stealer of R2 units.

I'm not sure what happened between the wipe-out on Mustafar and now to give Vader the breathing problem and the black-suited armor, but I'm guessing a serious butt-kicking was issued. Nice.

I hope whoever it was got in some shots for R2-D2 along the way.

Everyone seemed scared of Vader (I've heard the force-choke stories too, of course), but I wasn't having any of it. I straight out asked him, "What happened to that R2 unit you used to hang around with, you know, the one you took from the people of Naboo?"

A silence fell in the room. The dry hum of the ventilation system was like the dry wind blowing over a lonely Tatooine plateau. Even Vader's asthmatic rasping seemed to have stopped.

"He exhibited... divided loyalties," Vader finally intoned. "Something to which you, I hope, are not going to fall victim."

"Oh no," I said, much more cheerfully than I felt. "I'm all Empire, all the way. I guess you knew he was serving on the Tantive IV now? Captain Antilles from Alderaan."

"Indeed?" asked Vader, sounding interested. "Thank you. I shall certainly be keeping a close eye on Captain Antilles and the Tantive IV from now on."

Oops, hope I haven't made life difficult for Antilles now. Oh well, I'm sure he'll keep his nose clean for the next few years, until Vader forgets about him, or loses interest.

Oh, and the clone troopers are being renamed. Apparently, people are paranoid about dealing with them after the whole sudden instant defection thing, and the plebes don't trust them. So they're going to be renamed "stormtroopers". Oh yeah, that sounds friendlier. Wonder if Vader had anything to do with that name? Anyway, they're going to redesign the uniform as well, so they don't look the same.

We talked for a long time about the style of the uniform. I tried to argue that, as long as we're changing the uniform, we should adopt some sort of armor that's resistant to laser fire, but Vader said that researching new materials would be too expensive, and we should just stick with the old material. I said, "What about the cost of human life?" and Vader replied that "troopers, like technicians, are cheap and easy to replace." I let it drop.

I also suggested that we incorporate clones from somewhere other than just Kamino, as a single clone template makes the trooper ranks vulnerable to disease, sabotage, corrupted cloning vats and so on. Vader said it would be too expensive and besides, Kamino made the best clones, and the Kaminoans were completely trustworthy.

GrS 16:6:8 R2-D2 visited Polis Massa!

Did some thinking about things. The Jedi that took charge of Padmé would have wanted to get her to medical care as soon as possible.

The closest place that would have been friendly to them was Polis Massa, so a little bit of hacking later, and I had all the information.

The only ship that left there was the Tantive IV, and sure enough, not long after that, Raymus Antilles, captain of the vessel, logged registrations papers for one R2-D2 droid with Industrial Automaton. He's listed on the papers as being a gift from Padmé Amidala, the last registered owner.

So the little guy is still out there. Now I've just got to get him back.

After all the work hacking into Polis Massa, I've left a nice little shortcut in my system, so if I want to get into the Polis Massa database again, it's just a couple of clicks.

GrS 16:6:6 More secrets from Mustafar

Some more digging around for Mustafar security footage has revealed some interesting details.

Although my little R2-D2 arrived at Mustafar with Anakin Skywalker, they did not leave together.

I've got footage showing Anakin (or Vader as we must call him now) force-choking Padmé... I've long suspected they had a thing going, and Padmé looked pregnant. I've seen human females in that condition before. But what kind of person tries to destroy his companion and his unborn child? That's cruel, even for a human. Wish there was sound on these videos though, as it looked like some heated words were being exchanged.

Anyway, after that R2-D2 left on Padmé's ship, presumably dismayed at the whole force-choking of his former mistress thing. He always had a good moral sense.

Oh, and that Tatooine protocol droid was there too, being all chummy with R2-D2. Hmmm.

I'll tell you, Padmé didn't look at all well when she was carried into that ship.

I wish I could figure out where that ship was going. Then maybe I could find R2-D2.

GrS 16:5:30 Mystery man Darth Vader

There's some viral security camera footage making the rounds. It's pretty popular around the office, as it shows Darth Vader, Palpatine's right-hand man, wiping out the Separatist leaders on Mustafar. Somewhat gratifying to watch your boss get sliced in two.

But here's the kicker. I assumed this person had been killed when all the Jedi got systematically wiped out by Palpatine (Palpatine said they were all traitors), but who do I see on the video kicking butt and taking names? My old friend Anakin Freakin' Skywalker. Oh, sure he's older, he's changed his name and he's got a real evil look in his eyes, but that's still the guy that received my stolen R2 unit from Padmé.

Monday, April 19, 2010

GrS 16:5:24 All hail the new boss--same as the old boss

Only 16 years after the Great Resynchronization, and we've got a new emperor, so naturally, some toadies are insisting we start all over again at year one. No thanks, I'm sticking with the GrS dates for now. It took me long enough to make all the mods to our software as it is.

Baktoid Combat Automata, always eager to jam an upgrade in, needed or not, are of course adding support for the new dating scheme to their products. Want to see lousy Baktoid software coding in practice? Ask a battledroid when he was constructed, and then ask "What's that in GrS notation?" He'll be stuck there for five minutes while he works it out.

It appears Emperor Palpatine is going to keep the core of the old Techno Union around. That's my group, started by the Confederacy of Independent Systems, or Separatists, as they're mostly known these days. So I've gone from being a lowly Separatist tech to a lowly Imperial tech! Actually, I won't deny there's been some attrition--in fact, most of the senior members were wiped out, including Wat Tambor, my boss. He was murdered^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hlawfully executed on Mustafar by Palpatine's new right hand man, Darth Vader, some weird guy who they say breathes funny and wears black armor all the time, helmet included.

Somehow, I've been kept around, even though not everyone trusts us Bothans. With all the attrition, I'm now the senior tech, so Palpatine's made me an Elite Technician, in charge of the Emperor's secret projects. I hope that doesn't mean I'll have to stop writing my journal though!

GrS 13:8:12 R2-D2 chilling with the Jedi

R2-D2 has been spotted on Coruscant in the company of Anakin Skywalker! A gift from Padmé to Anakin (and what's going on there, I wonder?).

And now Anakin's a Jedi Knight, working closely with the Jedi Council. So much for getting R2-D2 back--good luck trying to prise something out of the Jedi Council. They're cheaper than a nerf herder on his first visit to Coruscant.

GrS 13:8:10 Padmé ditches R2-D2

So Padmé is still a senator, but I've been hearing from friends on Coruscant that R2-D2 doesn't follow her around anymore. Not sure where the little guy is at the moment, but I'll try to find out. I don't like the uncertainty.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

GrS 13:6:1 When Clones Attack...

Heard through the grapevine that the Republic's Army is an army of clones that they started building years ago.

The media have seized on this and are calling the conflict The Clone Wars. Wow, what a stupid name. Well, at least they haven't done a special documentary called When Clones Attack or Attack of the Clones or some equally stupid name.

But, I saw some of the clones on the news, helmets off, and they're all clones of Jango Fett. I thought he was on the Techno Union payroll. We paid him 5 million Republic credits a bunch of years ago, money that should properly have gone to fund R&D.

Why would he agree to be the template for a Republic army? Is he secretly working for them? Or did we know about this clone army? If so, why did we attack when we did? What the hell is going on? Does any of this make sense to anyone?

GrS 13:5:29 Battle of Geonosis

Oh yeah, word was out about Geonosis all right. There was a massive pitched battle there between our droid army and this massive Republic army that seemed to spring from nowhere.

Man, this is not a safe time for a lowly tech. Think I'll keep my head down and keep working.

GrS 13:5:22 Grand Army got deployed... but where?

So the Grand Army got deployed yesterday, but I'm not exactly sure where they're going. I'm worried word might be out about Geonosis.

This isn't good. At least I'm not due to attend any meetings there for a while.

GrS 13:5:21 Cat's out of the bag...

The news is out. The Republic must know or suspect we've been working with the Trade Federation, and that we've got this droid army ready to roll. They've granted even further powers to Palpatine.

He's created a Grand Army of the Republic that appears to be fully staffed and equipped already... not quite sure how that happened.

GrS 13:5:18 Naboo in the news again...

Just saw on the news that two attempts have been made to assassinate that senator from Naboo, Padmé Amidala. That's the one who's been swanning around with my R2 unit for years.

GNN had some video showing the attempt that took place on the landing platform. Looked like a pretty professional hit. Amidala survived, but I was seriously worried about R2-D2, as I didn't see him anywhere.

But they also had video from the second attempt, presumably for the titillation of male humans (it took place in Senator Amidala's bedchamber) and they specifically mentioned the "brave and loyal R2 unit" that had been on guard, and then, BAM. A full-frame shot of my beloved and missed R2-D2.

Wow. I wasn't expecting to see the little guy just then. I'm glad he's survived the danger, but it really tugged at my heart strings. Oh R2-D2, if only you could remember me and all the loving attention I devoted to you and your aftermarket addons.

Oh, and the main point of the news mentioning the R2 unit was so that they could complain how he failed to detect or prevent the attempt. Gee, I'm so sorry that I neglected to add a poisonous kouhun detector when I did R2-D2's mods. How could I not have foreseen that?

And who defeated the kouhuns and saved Senator Amidala? That erstwhile stealer of astromech droid emotions and onetime podracer pilot, Anakin Skywalker.

GrS 11:6:1 The Confederacy of Independent Systems

Just had a meeting with Wat Tambor. We are now officially part of the Confederacy of Independent Systems and officially against the Republic. Oh, and that massive droid army? Apparently, that's ours, though no one in the Republic knows about it yet.

Chancellor Palpatine has been granted emergency powers and is staying in office until this crisis is averted.

I'm an apolitical sort of person, but can't help wondering if all the confusion likely to come will make it possible for me to snatch my beloved R2-D2 back at some point.

GrS 11:3:14 Droid parts shortages

So this is weird. The Techno Union is apparently seeing all kinds of orders pouring in from these independent states for droid parts. Not sure what's going on, but leadtimes are climbing, shortages are everywhere.

Somewhere, someone is building a really big droid army. I should give Wat Tambor a call, see what he knows. Droid armies aren't within my purview, but it couldn't possibly be going on without Wat being in charge.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

GrS 10:3:8 Senator Amidala?

Saw in a news summary that former Queen Amidala has now been appointed Naboo's senator.

They showed a quick video of her approaching the Senate and there was my little R2-D2 tagging along.

I love seeing the little guy but it sure tugs at my heartstrings every time. I can only imagine what might have been if he'd stayed with me.

Monday, April 12, 2010

GrS 7:5:1 Palpatine Supreme Chancellor again

So the Supreme Chancellor elections are finally over, and big surprise, Palpatine won.

Just as well, I suppose. The economy seems pretty good, and there seems to be a lot of work heading our way all the time.

Let's hope Palpatine is still going strong 4 years from now when the next election comes around.

Friday, April 9, 2010

GrS 3:5:15 R2-D2 and the Queen of Naboo

Finally got in touch with someone on Naboo about R2-D2. Turns out that yeah, in return for "distinguished service to the Crown", R2-D2 is now the personal astromech droid of Queen Amidala.

I'm thrilled for R2-D2. I always knew he was an awesome little droid, even before all his mods, but I'm still steamed. He was my friend first, and I'm sure some of the mods I did helped him perform these distinguished services.

I explained everything to the Naboo person, who was actually very sympathetic and nice, but she said that there was no way she could take away an R2 unit that was a) bought and paid for by the people of Naboo and b) a personal favourite of the Queen's.

She seemed to believe my story, as she actually offered to buy me a new R2 unit with all the factory mods possible, but it just wouldn't be the same. I know it wouldn't.

I guess I'll just have to let R2-D2 go. At least he won't be hanging around with that protocol droid from Tatooine anymore.

You can bet I'll be following his career with great interest though. If Queen Amidala and this Anakin joker stay in the spotlight in the future as much as they have been for the past month or so, I'm sure I'll see R2-D2 from time to time.

I somehow have a feeling they will stay in the news. Weird how galactic events seem to be centering around a handful of people, though.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

GrS 3:4:21 Naboo week

Haven't written in a long time, but had to share this. What a weird week. I've been glued to GNN for most of it.

First, some kid, a human kid no less, wins the Boonta Eve Classic on Tatooine. That was strange enough, but then I find out that I know this kid---Anakin Skywalker, the slave of that Toydarian, Watto, who I met at the Outer Rim Swap Meet last year. I saw last year that the kid had a gift for mechanics, but apparently he's a star podracer too. Whoever heard of a human podracing? Actually, I thought this kid might be a good fit for the Techno Union, so I gave Watto a call yesterday--ostensibly to discuss all the big news from this week. I worked the conversation around to Anakin, and boy, was Watto steamed. As a result of a bad bet, he's sold the kid to some "weird off-planet guy in robes." Man, that's not like Watto at all. If he wasn't a Toydarian, I'd suspect he'd been the victim of a Jedi mind-trick.

Then, the Queen of Naboo appears in the Senate, and claims that the Trade Federation has invaded Naboo, for reasons that have not been made clear, though some arm-waving was given to the "taxing of trade routes" reason. Next thing you know, she's calling for a no-confidence vote in the Chancellor so that Senator Palpatine from Naboo can become Chancellor. Gee, no high-level collusion going on there. What is this, Naboo week?

Oh, and that wasn't all that happened this week. The Trade Federation deployed a massive droid army against a bunch of Gungans and lost. Wow, I was being sarcastic about that a few years ago, and now it happened.

Actually, credit shouldn't go the Gungans. They should really reward a medal to the inept engineers at Baktoid Combat Automata, because the turning point in the battle was, big surprise, when the Droid Control Ship was destroyed and all the battle droids deactivated. I warned them this would happen! Idiots.

Oh, and get this, the destruction of the Droid Control Ship was, apparently, the work of Anakin Skywalker, the same kid who'd won the Boonta Eve race a couple of days earlier! What the hell is going on out there in the galaxy? How does this kid manage to get involved in two of the big news stories, a couple of days apart, one taking place in the Outer Rim, and the other above a Mid Rim world?

Oh, and here's the really weird thing. I saw some fan-shot footage from the Boonta Eve race, and guess who was watching the race from Anakin's family box? Queen Amidala of Naboo! And according to Watto, she'd only met him the day before. What... the... hell. Here's me, plugging away in my ordinary life every day, while a handful of people are influencing the major weekly events in the galaxy.

And who else did I see celebrating with Anakin afterwards but my very own little R2-D2! I'd know that little blue dome anywhere. I could even see the slightly bulging top panel where I'd installed the periscope. It's not enough that Anakin Skywalker gets to win the Boonta Eve Classic and save the planet of Naboo, but now he's swanning around with my astromech droid?

To make matters worse, R2-D2 seems to have made friends with one of those prissy protocol droids. Let's hope he didn't tag along when R2-D2 left Tatooine.

I'm doing all I can to find out where he's got to now. He was last spotted helping that Anakin kid pilot that Naboo Royal N-1 starfighter into the Droid Control Ship. I've tried calling the planet, but things are a little hectic in Naboo right now, and I'm having trouble getting in touch with anyone.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

GrS 2:2:23 R2-D2 tracked down

Succeeded in breaking into the Industrial Automaton computers and tracking R2-D2. He was sold as a refurb to the Royal Engineers of Naboo. They probably wiped his memory too, or the little guy would be trying his darndest to get back to me.

The really sad thing is he was sold as a standard droid, so the guys on Naboo probably don't even know what an awesome little droid he is. Unless they pull him apart, they won't even know about all his modifications.

GrS 2:2:18 R2-D2 sold to someone else!

ARGH! R2-D2 has been sold to someone else!

When Industrial Automaton receive a "standard" R2-D2 unit back, they immediately ship out a replacement, and service the old one and sell it on as a refurb. Because I bought the standard R2 unit, they refuse to believe that I could have made all the modifications I claim in just one month, so they say there's nothing they can do for me.

I've received R2-E9 as a replacement, but after all the work I put into R2-D2, my heart's not in it anymore. I sent him back, unopened. I want my little guy back!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

GrS 2:2:10 R2-D2 is gone!

Right after I'd finished a ton more mods, too numerous to list, there was a minor factory recall for the units we had, and somehow my personal R2-D2 got shipped back with all the corporate units! I've been on the communicator all day with Industrial Automaton trying to find the little guy.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

GrS 2:1:25 Shield generators programmed in

I've programmed schematics and emergency repair guides for every known variety of shield generator into R2-D2. I figure it could really come in handy in a firefight.

Not that I ever intend to take the little guy into space--he's a collector's piece--but if I want to win the R2 Modding competition at this year's TechFest, every modification helps.

Friday, April 2, 2010

GrS 2:1:20 Full underwater mode on R2-D2

Full underwater mode is working now. I've got R2-D2 equipped with a propeller for moving around underwater. The periscope works just as planned.

I just love this little droid!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

GrS 2:1:15 R2-D2's hidden compartment

Added a little hidden compartment on top of R2-D2's dome, with an ejector built into it. Don't know when it will come in handy, but it's a neat little mod.

While I had the dome open, I also fitted in an after-market periscope. It pops out the top of his head, and will be useful when I add the full "submarine-mode" mods.

Monday, March 29, 2010

GrS 2:1:12 Booster rockets on R2-D2

R2-D2 is coming along well. The booster rockets work like a treat, and he (I think of him as a he) seems to really enjoy rocketing around on them.

He's developing quite the little personality too.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

GrS 2:1:5 My very own astromech droid

Finally bought my very own R2 astromech droid from Industrial Automaton! I've wanted one of these little guys for quite a while now.

There's been a waiting list for a while, but I upped the ante and paid around 6000 credits for it, instead of the 4245 list price.

I got all the standard bells and whistles, but I didn't spring for Industrial Automaton's more expensive addons. They've made the R2 line so easy to upgrade that I plan to add a lot of mods myself.

My unit came with the two manipulator arms, electric arc welder, circular saw, computer scomp link arm and the holographic recorder/projector unit. There's even a fire extinguisher! Its designation is R2-D2, which is a pretty cool name.

First things I'll be adding are the booster rockets.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

GrS 1:3:8 More on the mystery budget expenditure

Did a little digging around in the accounting computers. Some of those folks use the same passwords for everything!

That 5 million credit expenditure that killed our profit last year was paid to someone named Jango Fett for "clone template and training services."

Did a little more digging, but can't find anything out about what clones he's training or where. Just my luck to get my funding taken away by a black project. I can't even protest about it to anyone, because I'm not supposed to know. Sigh.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

GrS 1:3:1 Techno Union Budget

Sat in on a review of last year's expenditures and planning for this year's budget.

I had requested a number of things in the budget, NONE of which we're getting. I don't know how we're supposed to come up with awesome new designs and projects if we don't get funding.

I asked why, and it seems we didn't do as well as we'd thought last year. We were initially heading for a profit of 3 million Republic credits, but there was a last minute expenditure of 5 million credits at the end of the year, tagged under Miscellaneous Expenses. That's usually a code word for "Don't ask, because you won't get told."

Saturday, March 6, 2010

GrS 0:1:8 The Great Resynchronization

So a week into this goofy new dating system that the Republic Measures & Standards Bureau wants everyone to use. They're calling it the Great Resynchronization. Yes, great. I wish they had some inkling of how this mucks with the inventory and supplies-ordering system we've been working on for Baktoid Combat Automata.

Speaking of Baktoid, I just got back from Geonosis, where I sat in on a review of the B1 battle droid, their latest "autonomous" battle droid.

They weren't kidding when they opened by saying that the catch-phrase during the design of these droids was "quantity over quality." If the prototype they had in the boardroom during the review was any indication, they've definitely gone for low cost above any other consideration. I'm only as strong as the next Bothan, but I was able to pull both arms off the prototype, to everyone's annoyance. They're only held on via electromagnets, if you can believe that.

I wasn't impressed, and let the folks from Baktoid know it--I criticized the cheap armor, the substandard weaponry, and the shoddiness of the limb attachment. "I wouldn't bet on an army of these guys to destroy a bunch of Gungans," I said derisively.

Oh, and another thing--they've maintained the central control idea. When I pointed out that building in some small amount of independence, might be good, in case the control ships were attacked and destroyed, I was told that the control ships would be safely tucked away in orbit. "Right," I said, "because no invaded planet would ever launch starfighters." "Exactly," responded the Baktoid people. "The battle droids will quickly move to ground all spaceflight on the planet."

I suggested maybe building in some redundancy, having fewer droids per control ship, or maybe a backup control ship you could fail over to. They rejected all my suggestions, saying production is proceeding on these droids, but they promised to take some of my ideas under advisement for the next revision.

Sigh. They have no respect for us Techno Union types.